Gloves Off: Breaking the “Perfect Mom, Perfect Professional” Myth with Erin Thomas
For years, women have been sold two identities that rarely coexist peacefully:
- The perfect mother and
- The perfect professional.
One is supposed to be nurturing, available, and endlessly patient.
The other is expected to be sharp, strategic, and always “on.”
Most women quietly live in the tension between the two expected to hold both roles flawlessly, without faltering, without feeling, and without ever admitting how exhausting it really is.
On this episode of Gloves Off, I sat down with messaging strategist and writer Erin Thomas to have the kind of conversation that rarely makes it past the group chat: an honest look at what happens when women feel pressured to split themselves in half just to meet everyone else’s expectations.
👉 Watch the full Gloves Off episode here:
👉 Learn more about Erin’s work:
The Double Identity Women Are Still Asked to Perform
Erin and I talked about a reality many high-achieving women know well:
- The mom world that asks you to be available 24/7
- The corporate world that punishes any sign of emotional or personal complexity
- The subtle pressure to “pick a lane” or perform both perfectly
- The guilt that follows you no matter which role you prioritize
- And the belief that if you’re not thriving in both, something must be wrong with you
We both agreed:
This is not a personal failure.
This is a cultural setup.
The expectation isn’t just outdated it’s inhuman.
Authenticity vs. Performance
Erin, whose career revolves around helping leaders find their true voice, shared something powerful:
Most women aren’t actually struggling with clarity.
They’re struggling with permission permission to stop performing the roles that don’t feel true.
Authenticity isn’t a marketing trend.
It’s a nervous-system-level experience of living in alignment with who you are, not who you’re expected to be.
And yet, authenticity often feels risky because we’ve been conditioned to believe:
- “Don’t show too much.”
- “Don’t ask for help.”
- “Don’t drop any balls.”
- “Don’t let motherhood affect your work.”
- “Don’t let work affect your motherhood.”
No wonder women feel stretched thin.
We’re being asked to perform two entire identities that were never designed to coexist.
A New Model of Support: Multigenerational Living
One of the most fascinating parts of our conversation was Erin’s personal life experiment: her family’s intentional multigenerational living arrangement three generations, two houses, one shared vision under one roof.
It’s not just a lifestyle choice.
It’s a reclaiming of community, connection, and real support.
We talked about how this structure:
- Reduces the emotional and logistical load on mothers
- Creates deeper relationships across generations
- Allows women to lead without sacrificing family
- Challenges the “individualist” model that isolates women into burnout
- Redefines what modern leadership can look like
In many ways, multigenerational living is an antidote to the myth that women have to carry everything alone.
Why This Conversation Matters
This wasn’t the flashiest or spiciest episode of Gloves Off.
It wasn’t meant to be.
It was human.
It was honest.
And it was necessary.
Because women don’t need more productivity hacks or performance advice.
We need freedom the freedom to live, parent, lead, and build without fracturing ourselves in the process.
We need spaces where we can say:
- “I’m doing my best.”
- “I can’t do it all.”
- “I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
- “I want a life that feels aligned, not performative.”
That is the essence of Life by Design™ designing a life that feels true, coherent, whole.
Before this episode, Erin invited me onto her own show the Trash Talk Podcast, where clichés go to die and real conversations come to life.
You can listen to my episode here:
It’s a powerful conversation on community, identity, and the truth about building a life that feels like your own.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever felt torn between your roles, stretched by expectations, or pressured to be everything for everyone… this episode is your reminder that you’re not alone and that the system, not your soul, is the thing in need of recalibration.
And to learn more about Erin’s work in messaging, clarity, and authentic leadership, visit:
